Before we get to the participating cities, I have to say a few words to my ad industry constituency.

To fellow advertising professionals: What we are witnessing here with HQ2 is something we all live with everyday, the RFP pitch process. It’s something we’ve been complaining about for decades but we keep participating in these sadistic contests.

We are very sick puppies my friends. We are like an American who receives Social Security but will argue at the top of their lungs against any kind of socialism.

It’s crazy and we need a solution but today we are here to guide those in Amazon’s HQ2 pitch quagmire.

To the 218 cities that did not make the final list in this search process: Consider yourselves lucky and I’m not kidding. The 20 cities that made the cut are about to enter a whole new level of pitch hell and “you ain’t got time for that”.

Yeah, you put together the best pitch in the history of the city and it wasn’t enough. Be proud! Don’t let the hard work go to waist. Make that proposal the template for every new pitch to come. Godspeed!!

To the final 20: Hold on to your wallet because the money that’s about to be considered to help to win this pitch would have put a former self into cardiac arrest.

Be smart, be creative, don’t throw money at anything that isn’t close to genius!

To people who love to issue RFPs: Take it down a notch for crying out loud. People have lives so don’t get all willy-nilly when writing the request document.

To the eventual winners of HQ2: Congratulations! Take the rest of the week off and eat something other than pizza. And one last thing, take a moment to think about the other 237 participants and take a ridiculous victory lap around the city Rocky Balboa style. You deserve it because in a couple of weeks, the real work is about to start.