Holy Smoke launches with a bang
Steve’s breakdown: When a new business gets a lot of press, we here at The Ratti Report take notice. The Colbert Report & Fox News found this one and we suspect they will be looking for an ad agency very soon.
STOCKTON, AL: We can’t think of a better way to avenge someone’s wrongful death (just kidding) – Holy Smoke is a company that, for a price, will turn your deceased loved one’s ashes into bullets. For $1,250, they will turn one pound of human ash into your choice of 250 shotgun shells, 100 rifle cartridges, or 250 pistol cartridges.
For an additional $100 per box, you can also get “mantle-worthy, finished, wooden handcrafted boxes with labels.”
One of the company’s founders explains how he came up with the idea – an account that sounds neither creepy, nor sick and twisted (riiiight) – “My friend smiled and said, ‘You know I’ve thought about this for some time and I want to be cremated. Then I want my ashes put into some turkey load shotgun shells and have someone that knows how to turkey hunt use the shotgun shells with my ashes to shoot a turkey. That way I will rest in peace knowing that the last thing that one turkey will see is me, screaming at him about 900 feet per second.”
Well, that’s… something. It sounds to me like the guy has a serious vendetta against turkeys. The company’s website also claims, “Now, you can continue to protect your home and family even after you are gone.” They tout the savings, too! “The services provided by Holy Smoke are a fraction of the cost of what most funeral burial services cost – oftentimes saving families as much as 75% of traditional costs.”
Holy Smoke is located in Stockton, Alabama, and if you’re interested in their services, click here!